Accountability and Support

I need to have strong accountability and support for personal development - why?

As you know, it is common to set a goal or a New Year’s resolution and never achieve it.  Sometimes it’s because we were not in the right frame of mind when we made that declaration, and sometimes it is because we were not properly warmed up to commit to the goal.  Usually it is because we have either not told anyone about it (in case it doesn’t work out) or haven’t asked for help from others when it broke down. 

Just telling someone what you plan to do helps make you accountable.  This way, someone else knows and will be watching for you to make that change.  Sure, it puts some pressure on, but it also increases your chances of success.  We need to get into the habit of making clear and realistic declarations aloud so that others are aware of our intentions.  Yes, it would be nice to be paid to make the change like those Jenny Craig celebrity spokespeople, but the majority of us are not so lucky.  Instead we need to step up and put our own accountability in place. 

Step One of development is telling someone of your goal or plan.

Step Two is asking for help. 

Why is this so hard? 

People think it shows weakness when they need to ask for help for something that others may not need help for.  Thousands of people make it possible for us to function in our daily lives. Think of all the people who grow our food, make our clothes, pump our gas, supply our water, heat our homes, and manufacture our medicines - and that only covers a handful of our basic necessities!  But if you want to succeed in making the change or moving forward in your development, you will need to have support for that too.  You WILL breakdown at some point - but the key is to have support in place so that when it happens, you will have the help to get back on track. 

We put such a high value on independence that we sometimes forget the reality of the human experience. Look to the people you trust for support, and even though you might feel uncomfortable, try your best to accept it.  In AA there is a sponsor who can be called when the person needs support in their sobriety.  Often, the person chooses not to take that drink so that they don’t have to feel the shame of making that call to their sponsor, but if they call the sponsor after having taken a drink, the sponsor can motivate the person to start a new day and try again.  But something that many forget is that the sponsor is also getting help by supporting the drinker in their sobriety.  By helping other people, we become more understanding of other people’s positions or situations, we increase our self esteem because we feel our input is valued, and we are challenged, which helps our own personal development. 

So if you are feeling weak when you ask for help, remind yourself that the second step to development is putting good support in place, and asking someone for help helps that person as well.

Take care,

Frank

Comments

[Spencer]

It is amazing that after reading your blog (and a good one at that), how I am reminded of the words of Peter Senge..."The enemy is out there." Accountability is a funny thing, when it is because something great has happened, we're all in taking as much credit for the success as we can get. However, when it hits the fan, there in no one that will take ownership. This is very common in teams. In many instances, the self elected leader will take pride for the accomplishments and contributions of the team, but when the team fails to reach their goal, it then becomes "their" fault. Ironically, the teams that usually fail are those who consist of a group of free agents. Teams that collaborate, delegate to the member best fit to achieve the highest result, and fear-not the import, support, and direction a higher leader can contribute through coaching and feedback are in most instances the team that will succeed. even in instances when the team falls shorts that fear not the responsibility of taking ownership because they did everything in their power to succeed.