How do you Take a Guerilla to a Tea Party?

In my role as a professional leader I'm always dealing with the challenge of calibrating my "HI-D" dominance, urgency, and hyper-drive to push forward with change and accomplishment against the pressure from others to be patient for results.  It's tough.  My natural behavioral intensity sends my entrepreneurial vision into super drive, leading to a constant state of feeling as if everyone I work with is going way too slow for my satisfaction. 

One of my mentors, John "Clipper" Cleaver, (founder of the Cleaver Company) gave  me some feedback soon after I joined his team:  "People need to seek relief from your presence."

Okay, I admit, maybe it was a little hard to hear.  But Clipper was spot on - I could see it right away - this had been my experience through life - in school and social groups, and then in business.  He nailed a feeling I'd always had of being a guerilla at a tea party! Through his coaching, Clipper helped me understand for the first time the assets, along with the liabilities, of my natural behavior, my "HI-D." 

The challenge for me is, and has always been, what do I do with that awareness?

How do you take a guerilla to a tea party?

If I act from my native tendencies, I tend to scare others.  If I modify my intensity does that mean I'm coming from a place of artifice?

Today, what I have to remember about behaving at the tea party is:

Food, Fitness, and Friendship - To take care of myself with a healthy, balanced lifestyle on a daily basis so I have the energy to modify my behavior when I need too;

Spotters - Have trusted people available to give me cues to help me see the signals others are giving that I'm missing;

Talent - To surround myself with bright, strong talented people who aren't intimidated or demotivatied by my style and intelligence.

Frank

Comments

[Fritz Hollenbach]

Frank's comments go to the heart of why candid feedback is so essential for developmental purposes.Those we respect and admire the most tend to be individuals who are willing to step into the fray and offer insights into our behaviors that can assist in making us look at those areas we often fear . Well said!